Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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