this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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