if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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