i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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