He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
