i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
