Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
