Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
