dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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