She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
