i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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