yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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