It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
