I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
