i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
