You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
