He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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