Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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