who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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