Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
