He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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