Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
