I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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