So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
