Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize