they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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