Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
