Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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