ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

  Fav 16 7147 999

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I heard you threw up in your lap?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I heard that too.

  Fav 9 1906 3942

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

  Fav 15 1362 4390

  share tweet
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.

  Fav 25 5670 1776

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

  Fav 1 1382 894

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

  Fav 4 930 1804

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

  Fav 8 2271 717

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

  Fav 4 1086 630

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

  Fav 2 1241 586

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

  Fav 3 1390 496

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.

  Fav 2 1933 677

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy

  Fav 1 712 513

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

  Fav 1 753 496

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?

  Fav 2 38 44

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (863): View more from Florida

  not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.

  Fav 0 11 36

  share tweet
  

Randomize