Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.