Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's like iHOP with fire
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
