I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"