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• (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (323): View more from California

  Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest

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