I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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