dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?