In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months