I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize