I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
