Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
