I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
