Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
