oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
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I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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