We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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