your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
