The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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