This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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