I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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