Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
