4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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