He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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