So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
