We won't sleep together?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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