4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
