hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
