dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
