it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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