I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I didn't notice because vodka
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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