Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
