Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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