Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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