I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
