So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
