im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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