I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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