it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize