How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
