apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
