Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
