Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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